Tradesy, where I have made $800USD in sales, asks for “styled shots” of clothes for better sales.

I thought I would give it a go.

Me as model, my husband as photographer.

The lighting did not cooperate with my phone camera, turning me orange or going blurry sometimes.

I rushed to change into each outfit as fast as I could and now understand why runway models need people to dress them. You get sweaty running back and forth and trying to squeeze muscles into contorted shapes that look “natural” and show off the clothes.

There’s a reason you don’t see “busty” models on the runway or fashion magazines. Even Victoria Secret models are size B cup with tape and makeup. For my guy readers, sizes kind of go like this: 1″ away from chest wall =A, 2″ away from chest wall=B and so on. Larger than B distorts most clothes and makes bizarre shadows. My “girls” have always been like 2 unruly children.

I wish they were removable with Velcro: ” I need to get some STUFF DONE TODAY! I can’t be hassling with YOU TWO!”

Most of the photos were horrifying at best.

Which made me realise that I should have all my outfits photographed with me in them. Scoop necks, blouson or pleats over the girls are OUT for me. Oh, the horror.

It seems I am not alone.

As if from heaven, I got a new post via email Saturday night from professional model, Kristen T, who, even as tiny as a rail, and with professional lighting and professional photographer, may have been wishing for Velcro too.

The images are copy written, so a link…

She is beautiful, but the “children” and the pantsuit with blouson top are fighting. Thank you, Jesus.

I really feel so much better.

I wish no ill will towards Kristen. Really love her.

But now I know, there is a God.

And sometimes, no matter what, the clothes are just wrong.

So, I got a “dress form” from eBay.

Tradesy will continue to be a part of my life as I continue to recycle my smaller, non business suit wardrobe. Plus it will be cute in our retirement closet.

My husband wasn’t sure: “So, will it have arms and legs and kill us in the night?”

Lol.

I assured him- no, a sewer’s dress form only has the torso with a stand. It’s not a mannequin.

So, for about $58, I will get to be like the designers in Project Runway and dress the form and take great photos without “children” in the way. Hopefully, the styling will pay off.

Of course I must name the form…but what to call her…

Jayden?
Margo?
Jaquelin?

Saturday night I had my answer:
Kristen!