• 

You may recall that I started on IV Ketamine in 2019.

Hey, that rhymes.

It’s going really well and I’m at 11 weeks between treatments now.

Ketamine by IV is for PTSD and Depression. Others use it for pain. It helps rewire my brain and I feel like a normal person now.

What’s it like to be on a K trip? At first, just like I’ve had 5 margaritas and might be kicked out of a Mexican restaurant. Then, I close my eyes and the trip begins. I see weird people and creatures, usually with a Tim Burton or animé quality. And they always want to play cards. When I’m in the “K hole”, my visual cortex produces little zigzag scotomas and the floor warps, then moves like boiling honey, taking me through tunnels, cliffs, caves, the bottom of the ocean. Always there is either a dark red glow or a bright dayglo sugarskull sparkle. Old memories surface sometimes like films.

Coming out of it, things are no longer vivid and I feel woozy for about a day.

The results are so worth it. I don’t ruminate about the past (bullying, bad car accident, being laid off, abuse in a hospital). Gone are the constant thoughts of suicide since I was a child. I just live each day like normal-getting groceries, checking on my mom, prepping my next book, doing laundry, walking, hugging my husband. Really living.

Does insurance pay for IV Ketamine? Some pay for a portion if the chief complaint is pain. Mine does not pay for keeping me sane. I’m not sure why.

Maybe someday they will.