Me as a wood elf at Halloween. I lived life anyway.

So, how did “Burner yesterday” go?

In short, I made it to the Halloween party but had a central nervous system meltdown just before it ended. Again, the restaurant, noise of people talking, and live music was absolute overload. The world became a Tim Burton film again and I could not think straight, recognise my friends from a distance in the dark, or speak, or ask for help, fearing that I might fall backward off my chair. This wasn’t vodka. This is whatever is going on with my nervous system, middle ear, or brain and is disturbed by overstimulation.

Exposing me to loud flashy music videos prior may have helped at first.

I tried 1 jigger of vodka with juice then waited an hour and added another for a total of 3 shots of vodka to make me glide more than walk and walk without my cane around my house.

That’s just not sustainable in the course of a day.

“Is tyme fur mah mornin’ wodka n eggsth!”

But I was curious if there was any evidence of others seeing temporary suspension of bad motor skills.

I googled alcohol and theraputic effect parkinson’s, remembering my former father-in-law. I found anecdotal stories, some confirming, some not. So, not really “evidence”. Then I tried “alcohol central nervous system” (cns) to find a clinical explanation of the physiology. Each article was filled with judgey statistics, intervention, and prevention tips. I imagined a staunch 19th century woman in a long black dress scowling at me.

Only 1 article had a sentence or two about the alcohol molecule and cell membrane interaction and depression of the cns.

Hmmm..depression of the cns seems to help, while an overload of stimuli excites the cns and makes my symtoms worse? It’s not exactly “science” here, but it puts me onto the scientific process of asking more questions at least.

At this point

*Something is terribly wrong with my body

*I don’t know what this is, but it is not a brain tumor

*Alcohol seems to help with movement but is not sustainable at 3 shots/2hours nor has anyone apart from me been able to tell me if they observe a motor skill improvement or if I just feel like there is an improvement.

*It’s possible that Meclizine is having an pharmacologic added affect to something else I’m taking, though I have dropped all non-essential supplements to rule those out.

What I learned from last night is that

*I’m brave. Going to the party was scary given the risk of falling off a tall chair and holding onto the tall table for dear life, but I went and lived life anyway.

*I need to inform the people I’m with that at any moment I may need to leave when the Tim Burton illusions start. Also, that when that starts, I will be really confused and disoriented. I tried doing an Uber, but we got stuck at the neighborhood gates “You shall not pass!” and had to turn around lest the neighborhood mountain lion get me while waiting in the dark.

*I have awesome neighbors who took great care of me while Mr. Wannabe was overseas.