Today is one year to the day that we left behind our life in Houston and moved into our house in Sedona. Hurricane Harvey, the ranch, the big city excitement, the traffic, the sweltering heat.

I pondered this question for a while: “If I’m in bed for the first year, does it count?” And Mr. Wannabe said something like “Of course it counts. It’s still life. We are on a different path is all.”

And I suppose that’s true. I’ve spent most of this first year with healers: doctors, physician’s assistants, physical therapists, chiropractors, nurses. In and out of St. Joseph’s hospital in Phoenix. So many IV’s, general anesthetic, hospital gowns and track suits. Not at all what I dreamed. I’ve spent most of it in pain in bed or on the sofa, staring at our Blue Spruce out the window.

I’ve watched the seasons happen around the spruce pine. Snow falling. Hummingbirds sipping its sap. Rain and wind careless with its branches. Sun dappling shadows over a woodpecker and then attempting to dessicate its needles, turning them yellow just before the summer rains came.

That spruce is a survivor, just like me.

Spruce and I are where we are and that is that.

The days and nights are cool again. Summer blips by here, as I remember it did when I was a child and it’s wonderful. No more 7 month summers of sweating from April-November in Texas. My pain is improving some days down from a scale of 10 to 5. I get mini surgeries every 2 months and in between, I go to a chiropractor and to physical therapy. I can take little walks and feel a bit better on a low imflamation eating plan (Plant Paradox).

We’ve made new friends here. Just the other day, I was at the market and saw a familiar person to hug. It was a lovely feeling and felt like home. Similarly, when I go to the spa salon to get my nails done or skincare, there’s plenty of hugs too.

I grieve who I once was physically-runner, bodybuilder. And I know that any amount of health and physical activity of the past was taken for granted. There were days I chose not to go to the gym, now I can never go again.

I enjoy who I am becomming when I can see the the positive. Each morning when I wake and realise about my body, my mind says the Fbomb, but then it corrects itself and asks “What is beautiful about today?”

And I can list so many things.