“My Little Story” is a phrase that comes from Eckart Tolle. Most people are unaware that they tell “their little story” on a daily basis.
Example “I never HAD money growing up…so..” or “I’ve ALWAYS been good at playing baseball, so this will be easy for me..”
It’s easy to forget that we are spirits having a human experience.
Fellow blogger Jim Wang emailed me asking for “my story” so, I sent him this on why I write suzewannabe.com:
I write suzewannabe.com
*Health and nutrition for insulin and leptin resistant folks (1/3 of all people). I’m a commenter and comforter in Endometropolis and Endometropolis Lite FB groups.
*Attitudes about things- sometimes I’m grumpy, sometimes happy- I will post musings and my opinion on malinformation.
My Little Story:
Broke and disabled with a cervical spine injury (from lack of ergonomics at my computer) and endometriosis around age 40, my life was a mess and I was eyeing the gun cabinet to put me out of my misery. I wore a neck brace and was forced into surgical menopause after surgery #4. I was married to an abusive addict and living in hell, enduring hot flashes, memory loss and stuttering. I spent weeks lying on my back on an air mattress and used Dragon Naturally Speaking to control my laptop with my voice. My left arm had turned into a claw and with chiro therapy, my nerves were healing but felt like fire ants on my body. It took 5 years to heal and I never fully recovered.
No one believed me.
I was alone.
Determined to turn my life around, I started reading every Suze Orman book that I could and watching her podcasts on my laptop. Then I found Dave Ramsey and followed his budget guidelines to a T.
Mending fences with God came much later.
I also began serious weight lifting to deal with my grief and anger while living alone with my 2 big dogs in a new city (Dallas) without family or friends (none of them believed me. They blamed me, so I withdrew and isolated). I started a new, high-stress job as a geologist, helping drill one of the deepest subsea wells in the world. Many flights, including helicopters to and from the rig. Presentations in front of hundreds, including our CEO. Sounds glamorous but the stress nearly killed me.
I lived without TV and read like a maniac.
Slowly, my finances began to turn around, as did my health and life despite a doctor telling me I had the chem panel of a cancer patient and should be hospitalized. I underwent chemo for 3 months in Dallas and told no one, figuring I would be blamed for that too.
Our company moved me back to Houston. While in Dallas, I had to put my old dogs to sleep. One was blind and had severe dementia. The other could no longer walk. I was devastated. The only babies I could have (hysterectomy in my 20s) were now gone.
In Houston I met my second husband. We clicked on many things and were aligned on the handling of money. Years later, after we married, we watched the Financial Peace University DVD home study set, made a budget, and named our union “Team X”. We got completely out of debt- mortgages and all. Later, we were able to create a geology scholarship at Purdue University. What a healing thing to present it to our first recipient!
Could my life finally have some health AND happiness?
Not so fast.
Before we were married, I noticed that my legs felt heavy and had edema. I received devastating news that my kidneys were failing. I was in stage 3 chronic kidney disease (CKD).
I had a fight with God.: “Really, God? This is how we roll? I get a bit of happiness in my life and you’re gonna OFF me? You tell ME! You’re NOT going to use me for any good at ALL?!”
Scans showed nothing. It was a matter of time that I might face dialysis and die young.
Many mornings on my way to work, I stopped at urgent care from the kidney back pain. I worried about how I could do dialysis AND work.
In 2014, I had major surgery for endometriosis lesions again (the pain is 24/7 stage 2 labour pain. I had an opiate patch on my back and was still working full time and miserable). It turns out that endo lesions had trapped my right uterer- a common condition in the endo world known as “silent kidney death”. In addition, the lesions were all over the peritoneum- the membrane that holds ones guts in. The entire membrane had to be removed. It regrew painfully in 14 months. After the surgery, my kidney was functioning normally again. I was cured of CKD.
With the oil crash, I was laid off from my high-stress job and retired at age 46. The night before I had sobbed and said to my husband “I don’t know how I can work another day. It hurts to drive, to sit. I’m miserable.” God answered my prayer.
We were totally debt free and had an emergency fund.
No need for me to continue working!
Now I write, research as a scientist on the biochemistry of nutrition, exercise and the genetics of Endometriosis. Comforting the women around the world horribly affected by this disease gives me purpose and is far more rewarding than any career.
My other “Suze” is Suzanne Sommers. She inspires me with alternative and preventative anti-aging and nutrition.
Being out of debt has set us free, allowing us to live and GIVE like no one else.
It’s the most fun you can have with money and heals a wounded soul.