I got a new phone number this year.

And while it’s not nearly as interesting as my old number that “Brenda” had, it presents new challenges. “Brenda” was running from the law, was in trouble with Child Protective Services,

and had a gazillion creditors probably named Paulie or Silvio.

Lately, my current number is receiving robocalls.

My phone rings.

A robot voice that sounds very much like my ex-mother-in-law says in exacting, nasal Broadcastese “Oh, hi, um this is Sue..I want to save you on car insurance.”

Me: “No. You are Beatrice*! You want to give me a back-handed remark and imply I am fat somehow..”

Beatrice: ‘I’ve put on so much weight lately…
I’m ‘Suze Size’ now.”

She needed to be smacked.

The robot doesn’t know what to say..

Is silence between me and a robot awkward?

Not for me.

I can wait her out.

‘Sue’ says “ok, goODBYe” in that weird, inhuman tone.

So what can you do?

Register on the do-not-call list, sure, but these days that may not help.

Don’t answer any number you don’t recognize. If it’s important, they will leave a message.

And, there are apps for that

I’m trying the Truecaller App and found that Peru has been attempting to call me.

Wth?

Peru, did you miss me after 30 years? I’m sorry. Not coming back.

Ever.

Bombs…

Dysentery….

There are a few armpits on earth and Peru is one of them. Tangier, Morocco is the other.

The Truecaller app is sort of a Yelp on robo call numbers. People can report robocall numbers and the app will block them for you. Also, it acts as a callerID for incoming land lines.

So far, it’s working. Peru has not phoned me in weeks.

“!Adios!”

*some names have been changed to protect ME.