Money.

The #1 cause of divorce in North America.

It was the root cause of mine and I have owned up to my part.

I was an enabler to a spoiled man-child, thinking I could help by doing all the wrong things:
*”lending” school $ so he could have a car for work.
*supplying a gas card so that “we” could get a discount on gas.
*keeping our checking account separate because I could not trust him with $
*”fixing” his checking overdrafts time and time again.

After 19 years of this rediculous mess, I left and moved away, and started over.

I had a credit card with the same bank as his checking into which I had deposit rights.

One day, about a year since leaving, I logged onto that bank to check my credit card as online banking was beginning to take off.

Low and behold, almost a year after the divorce and into his next engagement, was access not only to my credit card, but also to his banking account.

A friend once told me “God will reveal answers to you, you will not have to go sleuthing for it.”

And there it was on the screen-the exact same behaviours as before-cash withdrawls and expenses at a local bar, huge payments to AMEX, overdraft fees

and a $1.65 balance.

He had not changed one iota.

Not even a divorce made him wake up about money.

Staring at the computer, I felt

Vindication.
Sadness.
Relief.

It took a few phone calls and letters to the bank to straighten the account so that I could no longer have access.

I didn’t need it.

God had already given me the gift of seeing that little had changed for my ex.

But that everything was still changing for me.