The #1 cause of divorce in North America.
It was the root cause of mine and I have owned up to my part.
I was an enabler to a spoiled man-child, thinking I could help by doing all the wrong things:
*”lending” school $ so he could have a car for work.
*supplying a gas card so that “we” could get a discount on gas.
*keeping our checking account separate because I could not trust him with $
*”fixing” his checking overdrafts time and time again.
After 19 years of this rediculous mess, I left and moved away, and started over.
I had a credit card with the same bank as his checking into which I had deposit rights.
One day, about a year since leaving, I logged onto that bank to check my credit card as online banking was beginning to take off.
Low and behold, almost a year after the divorce and into his next engagement, was access not only to my credit card, but also to his banking account.
A friend once told me “God will reveal answers to you, you will not have to go sleuthing for it.”
And there it was on the screen-the exact same behaviours as before-cash withdrawls and expenses at a local bar, huge payments to AMEX, overdraft fees
and a $1.65 balance.
He had not changed one iota.
Not even a divorce made him wake up about money.
Staring at the computer, I felt
It took a few phone calls and letters to the bank to straighten the account so that I could no longer have access.
I didn’t need it.
God had already given me the gift of seeing that little had changed for my ex.
But that everything was still changing for me.