Monopoly.

That horrible horrible game.

In my entire life, I have won it once.

just once.

As the car.

You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

someone else always got to be the race car.

Every. Single. Time.

I was usually

THE THIMBLE.

The thimble is not cool and does not represent success and power.

It is to protect your finger from being stabbed while making your own clothes-and today that is sad unless you are a designer…

I often ask my husband to google important stuff for me like “how many years was Bill Murray stuck in ‘Groundhog Day’?” (34).

It turns out that Monopoly pieces are meant to be bracelet charms…

Does anyone outside of a 1950’s cotillion wear charm bracelets?

“Every Cannon begins with Kay..”

“My husband went to Jarrod and got me this keen iron-I’m queen of the garden party!”

“It’s a TIFFANY wheelbarrow!”

It’s supposed teach youngsters about money.

All it taught me was feeling bad about myself.

Already intimidated by the car, I started from a powerless place and never felt that I COULD catch up, so I didn’t even try. I didn’t DESERVE Park Place or Boardwalk or railroads or hotels. Sometimes I lost on purpose just so I could end the torture and go get Barbie-she wore a crown and could catch giant fish in a wedding dress.

I know now that it is just a game but it sort if does represent real life. Many who have made a good life for themselves do not start out as the car, they start out as thimbles. The difference is, they don’t let starting out a thimble define them or defeat them.

So, unless you like sewing, throw out that thimble, the wheelbarrow, the falling-over shoe, the howitzer and any other crap piece that doesn’t feel empowering.

Or better yet, put that game in a yard sale where it belongs…